Surviving the flu

So this flu mess is some serious business. I literally have not felt like doing anything at all, which is not going to make going back to work tomorrow any easier. 

Here are a few tips just incase you get the flu:

During phase 1 of the flu you don't feel like eating anything. The thought of consuming anything makes you want to toss your cookies. Make sure you have some Saltine crackers on hand, they will taste like heaven in cracker form, and make you really thirsty so you will need some Gatorade too. But be careful on Gatorade flavors, some of them taste like a gym bag. And when you do start feeling better? Chick-fil-a!

There will be a point that you feel like you are going to freeze to death even with the mountain of blankets covering you and the 2 hoodies you are wearing. Have no fear, in 20 minutes when the Tylenol starts kicking in you will be sweating like a hooker in church.

I'm not sure if those expensive flu meds are really worth it. For over 10$ per pill you would think I would have seen some rainbows and unicorns or something. 

You are in fact, not dying. I know it feels like it, and while Ben was at work on Friday I texted him approximately 13 times telling him "I'm dying... No really I'm 99.7% sure that this is it."

Check instagram every 5 minutes, nothing makes you feel worse than seeing every other person on your IG feed out living their lives and eating really yummy looking stuff. Thanks guys.

Make sure that whoever you contracted this deadly disease sickness from knows just how badly you are feeling. And throw in one of those pitiful cough's while your at it, you know like the scene in Zoolander when he gets the "black lung." Because I got it from my husband I let him know every 26.3 seconds I was feeling like poop on a stick.

Watch Catfish marathons. That show gets me every time. Clearly if someone refuses to talk to you on the phone and meet you in person they are not who they say they are. And then get angry whenever the person says "I've been talking to hundreds of people... I don't see anything wrong with it." Oh ok, you are psychotic, that makes everything ok now.

And finally, get plenty of rest. When I was at the doctor he asked me if I needed a work excuse, to which I replied, "No I don't have to be back at work until Monday." His response? "Good you are going to need that much time to get over it, lots of bed rest." Man oh man he wasn't kidding.  

The good thing is, you will have a medical reason not to do laundry and other chores around the house. The bad news? Chores and laundry will still wait for you to get better to take care of things.